Countdown. .

21 months, 20 days, 2 hours and 40 minutes . . 
that's how long i've spent opening up
to someone non-receptive.
14 months, 4 days, 4 hours and 6 minutes . . 
that's how long i've loved someone that never desired to receive it. 
8 months, 16 days, 6 hours and 2 minutes . .
that's how long i've looked into sullen eyes with no hint of admiration for me
4 months, 12 days, 3 hours and 6 minutes
that's how long i've fallen asleep looking at your back, cuddled with myself to obtain any ounce of affection.
2 months, 6 days, 4 hours and 3 minutes. .
that's how long i've gone back and forth with myself . continuously asking if i was loving a brick wall. more content with comfort than the effort given.
1 week to the date . . 
is how long i've had to digest the fact that there will no longer be an us
4 hours 51 minutes .  .
that's how long it's been since you told me that the woman prior to me is who you feel you should be with .
1 minute .  . 
that's how long it took to break my heart into a million pieces as if it was never whole to begin with.

. . never whole to begin with. but you held the glue as i put together the remaining pieces. but that elmer's didn't hold long enough. and i can't count how many times i let myself meet this same crossroad. i just don't believe anymore. don't believe in you, in the good in humans, nor in love itself. 

melt my heart to stone. numb to all emotion. no one deserves my devotion. except me.